Apparently there are so many issues involved with helicopter parenting that it needed two posts to get through everything! The last one dealt more with what to do when away with college. This one will deal with more of the after effects of helicopter parenting once you’re on your own.
Here are my tips for dealing with the outcome of being raised by helicopter parents.
Learn the Basics
Learning the basics like how to cook, proper cleaning, laundry, or any chore you weren’t allowed to do as a child will seriously help you. A lot of stories involve adult children out on their own for the first time but have no idea how to use a washing machine, or don’t know how to cook anything other than toast.
Google and YouTube will be your friend. Wikihow is probably your best bet for most chores. As for cooking, that’s a trial and error situation. Follow some recipes that sound good to you. Don’t try anything too complicated at first. Here are a few links to decently simple recipes:
- 19 Healthy Recipes for Adults Who Love Ordering Off the Kids’ Menu
- 24 Recipes Everyone Should Know How to Cook
- 10 BASIC RECIPES EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW
Related: Step-by-Step Self Care Guide
Have Your Own Accounts
If you have any kind of account that’s shared with your parents close that account and open a new one. Why? If you have your parents on your bank account they then have access to that bank account. They still have the ability to control you financially if they have access to your money. Open a brand new account that is just for you, preferably in a different bank that the old one is in.
This also works for online accounts. If you parents know of them or have the passwords and you don’t like that idea, make new ones or change the password. You’re an independent adult now. No need for them to know everything.
Understand Toxic Relationships
Helicopter parents tend to not have or understand healthy relationships with their children. This can cause problems because that child hasn’t had a healthy relationship with anyone before and will gravitate to what they know.
Understanding what is toxic can help you see what you should avoid in people. It’s going to be hard because what you know is what you’re comfortable with, but what you know is bad. Suffocating contact, taking advantage of you, guilt trips, trying to control your actions and thoughts aren’t good qualities in people. Considering a lot of people who were abused as children end up in abusive relationships as adults because that’s what is “normal” to them, it’s better to attack this issue head on before you find yourself living with a relationship that’s just like your parents.
Learn Your Own Anatomy
A common thing helicopter parents can be really strict with is genitalia and what you do with them. If you’ve been prevented from learning anything about your own or the opposite sex’s genitalia and/or sex and how it works, PLEASE go out an educate yourself.
Sex is not a bad thing. It’s slowly becoming less stigmatized, especially regarding women. Abstinence Only sex education has been proven to lead to more teenage pregnancies than in areas where sex education is taught. Find resources like Planned Parenthood or the America Sexual Health Association.
Understand your body and how it works. Hell, give masturbation a try if you haven’t had the chance. There’s nothing wrong or sinful about understanding how your own body works. It prevents a lot of embarrassing issues later in life when you try to start a family and have to admit you really don’t know how that works.
You might be thinking “What!? You want me to fail??”. The answer is an absolute yes. If you’re the child of a parent who did everything for you from getting you dressed in the morning to cutting your food when you were a teen, chances are they never let you fail. You’ve never experienced what it’s like to be bad at something or experience less than idea consequences. So what happens to someone who doesn’t know how to deal with the idea of failure as an adult in the workplace or in relationships? It’s not good.
Not only is failure attributed to success, raising kids with helicopter parenting is incredibly harmful to development and growth. Failing isn’t the best feeling, but if you start out slow and build on that, once you hit something more serious you won’t freak out about it.
Want to take things further? Check out 100 Days of Rejection.
Do Things in Moderation
This is the biggest issue with adults given freedom for the first time. We go overboard. When I was in college I was able to experience drinking for the first time without being accused of being a drug addict. My dad was incredibly strict when it came to things like this so when my peers were out experimenting and understanding how alcohol worked, I was hid up in my room petrified of the idea. Needless to say I went way overboard. It lead to my entire sophomore year of college being a giant blur.
So now that you’re in college, or moved out on your own, you probably want to experience all of the things you were prevented from doing so growing up. Anything that’s over indulged is going to be bad for you whether that be alcohol, smoking, food, or profanity. I know it’s going to be hard to moderate, but if you do, future self will thank you.
Have I missed any issues you want talked about? Let me know in the comments! Want to help support the cause? Share this post using the hashtag #TakeBackMillennial